Letting go. So hard to do?

Letting Go by Sarah Cairncross

Half the year has gone already. How did that happen? There was me thinking I’d been practising letting go.

Yes, I’ve been letting go of ‘stuff’, physical objects from my life maybe but how much of the emotional have I released too?

Was I hoping that in letting go of my belongings, I would part with old memories and feelings too?

It’s an interesting question I’d not asked myself until last night while I was having a great conversation with my friend Craig. Well, he poked me with the thought actually. He was trying to understand how I could bring myself to burn my journals, give all my photographs to the care of my ex husband and reduce my possessions to a suitcase (ok, and a box to fit my juicer and blender in).

It’s hard to explain.

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Transforming

Transforming by Sarah Cairncross

I’m transforming. Transmutating. Actually I’m not sure that transmutating belongs anywhere except in an episode of Dr Who, so I’ll stick with transforming.

You know how sometimes The Universe just keeps chucking stuff at you? Things you read,  comments that randoms or friends say to you, the poster on the back of the bus – just stuff. All pointing out the same thing.

Until the penny drops. And I go ‘ohhhhh’.

Well lately, the thing for me has been all about unplugging.

I was lying in the bath last night and ermmm, was, well, I was on Twitter thanks to the modern gadget I own – the iPhone. Not exactly unplugged then…

I was reading another post about how someone decided to do away with his mobile phone, his computer and all other internet related gadgetry. For 90 days. All this after another teaser update from Joshua Miillburn about how he’ll soon be revealing how he’s coped for two months without his phone.

Well, I’m well on my way to a minimalist lifestyle.

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New Year, New Intentions

First Weigh-In for 2012
Happy 2012 to you! I’m starting off my new year with one major new intention

Keep My Word

Keep my word to myself first and foremost, as well as to others.

How many times have I said I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of feeling like I’m in the same old place? Which is why I go silent on this blog so frequently – because I’m boring myself with the same old crap that comes out of my mouth, so you sure as hell must be too!

Something has to change!

That change for me has come in the form of being an action taker, not just a talker.

Not that I necessarily have to complete everything that I start, as, let’s face it, some things turn out to be a fricking bad idea and some things offer you opportunities further down the line that put a fork in the road and I want to be open to change and going with what FEELS right.

Get my head outta the way!!!

So last Summer is when I started stepping up and keeping my gob shut more and putting first one foot forward, then another, and another.

I caught up with my friend Bird today and she said to me, “Sarah, have you celebrated everything you achieved in 2011?” And I looked at her a bit blankly. Huh?

Immediately my mind started cataloguing all the things I’ve ever said over the years that I would do and never done, drowning out the good bits. But yes, there have actually been many, in quite a short space of time!

She reminded me that I took charge of my life, sold all my stuff, went travelling – on my own, changed my diet to that  of a balanced vegetarian and as a result, EFFORTLESSLY, reduced my weight from the horrifying 12 stone I reached at my pinnacle in September (not a great accomplishment), to what I am today.

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Making Change Happen

view at Luz, Algarve, Portugal

Making change happen in my life. It’s something I realise I tend to build up to.. My sister often asks me “Sarah, how bad does the pain have to get before you change something?” More often than not, the answer is, ermmm… quite bad.

So, harking back to my previous post, the pain of feeling empty, a bit lost and in search of ‘feeling happy’ led me to ask myself what I really wanted. I was single, my kids were wrapped up in their own lives, so what now? Writing in my journal helped me pour everything whirling around in my head, out, and clarity came to me.

Travel.

Time on my own, feeling free of responsibility.

Be me (whatever that meant – I wasn’t totally sure but needed to find out)

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Divorce, Discovery, Decisions

finding peace after divorce at Moinhos Velhos in Portugal

As you may know, I got divorced this year.

That’s a very old, long ago story and I’m not mentioning it to regurgitate anything, I just wanted to tell you that the piece of paper telling me I was finally, officially divorced, is what set into place a series of events that made me sit down and ask myself..

“so Sarah, what do you want?”

..which led to me answering myself that I wanted to take action – walk my talk – be the person I keep talking about wanting to be.

I want to be healthy, vital, full of energy and looking fewking sexy (or sexier, as my friends insist on positively reinforcing for me).

I’ve not managed to do that under my own steam in years, (yes, I DID manage once before). So what could I do differently that would help me now?

That was the key – stop the insanity of trying the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result.

So…

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Devon Knows How They Do It

Sarah and Otto in Devon

I’m down in Devon – ooh arrr! Staying with my lovely friend Maggie, her fab hubby, Paul, and the mad mutts – Otto and Finlay. A lot has been going on in my life over the past few weeks, which I have been digesting – together with an unhealthy amount of cake and stuff that is most definitely not raw but excellent at numbing emotions.

In between clotted cream I have squeezed in some gorgeous home grown veg and after a lot of chit chat these past few days and an amazing crystal healing treatment from Maggie today, I’ve got my writing mojo back and am clear on the path I want to take now. YAY!

I have also been journalling, which has helped me enormously over the past couple of months. Why have you been doing THAT I hear you ask? And is THAT why I’ve not been writing on here? Continue reading

Making Space

messy room

In order for something new to come in, I understand that making space has to be a priority. I was reminded of this with today’s quote from The Universe (see TUT.com)

‎”All that you need to have, all that you want, will be provided as if by magic. Once you know what you want and do something about it every day.”

I have a lot that I want to achieve and it feels overwhelming when I start to think about it all, so I know I need to chunk it down. I am also a firm believer that having a clear physical environment helps me have a clear mental and spiritual environment. Pretty essential if I want to figure out what little steps I need to be doing every day.

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