Sarah Cairncross
I know, I know – I missed a day updating things and what is REALLY annoying is that I made a video for today’s post and the blooming sound didn’t record properly because I didn’t change a setting from my headphones to my webcam mic *grinds teeth*
So I’m going to keep this brief as I’m, well, plain pi**ed off to be honest!
Had a green juice yesterday and today but was annoyed at myself for STILL not having had ONE day without cheating in some way.
This time I had bought some Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food chocolate icecream ‘for the kids’ and scoffed some both days. It is purely a mental thing going on but I am sort of overcoming this by being able to have a bit and putting it back. I just need to try and go cold turkey though so I can get past the cravings and to the point where I won’t WANT to eat that crap. Anyway tomorrow is another day eh.
Yesterday I managed to run for 24 minutes, and today was my day of rest, so no exercise. Have just been drinking water, having veg juice and fruit and the damn icecream (eaten after I gave up trying to salvage the sodding video – and no I don’t feel good for eating it – just felt good WHILE I was eating it).
So on the eve of my first weigh and measure in – how am I feeling?
Fricking nervous! How nuts is that, feeling more scared at putting a bikini on than I was last week – I am hoping that despite all my food cheating I’ve still done something to have lost at least 1lb or I’ll be so angry with myself. It won’t stop me of course – even if I’ve put weight ON – and have decided I’m going to look for an image of how I want to look to help me focus. People also keep asking me what my goals are so I’m going to set a specific first goal – which is 9stone 7lbs (126lb / 60.5 kilos) and hope to achieve that by Week 4.
Well I better go to sleep, need my strength for running tomorrow – lol, a bloke I passed on my run yesterday turned around before I passed him (I was making THAT much noise) and as I overtook him he shouted out to me, ‘go onnnnn love, you can do it!’ I obviously looked like i was gonna die and fook knows how noisy I was, I replied (panted) ‘honest, I’m not going to die on the pavement in front of you…’ hahahahhahahah
Byeeeee *dreaming of dropping a kilio in my sleep* x
Wow honey this is really inspirational. I am currently nearing the end of nearly 6 months of surgery and treatment for aggressive breast cancer and have been struggling with ways to heal and revive my body following on from chemo and radiotherapy. This is such a great thing you are doing and so helpful to hear you struggling with the ice cream demon! Also your honesty in all this is heart warming. I read an amazing book just after being diagnosed called the anti cancer diet and now look back at my relationship with food and see it as key to my getting cancer. I was always knocking back glucose laden ‘sport drinks’ thinking they were low calorie and somehow okay not realizing that cancer feeds of those kind of sugar peaks. I know now though in a big way but this stuff is super addictive and so deeply routed in out culture that it takes something radical to break through the diet coma. In reality we are all spending a lot of money on food that is actually, very bad for us. Keep flying the flag, big love, Eugenie