It’s the 4 Jan 2010 and it’s been a weekend of reflection for me, and maybe you too.

On New Year’s Day, I met up with my lovely friend Michelle and we did a Bare Foot Doctor exercise where  we had to write down our qualities we felt had held us back and the negative actions as a result in 2009, then on a separate sheet of paper 108 things we were grateful for in 2009 and then on the third piece of paper, 108 things we wanted to achieve in 2010.  We decided to then read these to each other to help us understand what one word was the current theme for each list.  Mine were:  omg, trying to remember …   Self Respect, Joy, Safe & Secure.  We then made a declaration and burned the paper which went up in flames in a very satisfying way.

By the end of this – despite the grumblings at the beginning of having to think up 108 things to be grateful for! – we found it relatively easy to do and had big smiles on our faces.  So even though I don’t feel I’ve achieved much at all in 2009 in terms of where I was and where I am now, I can see that my year on the whole has been joyful.

So.. what to do now to make 2010 feel safe for me?

Take consistent action.

What does that mean for me?  It means being authentic and true to me and loving me and staying in the now more often than not.  To not let myself be ruled by my fears but to see them and face up to them as challenges instead – enough hiding.  It’s not helping me and it’s not helping you either.  And so, although I’m not sure why, I’m going to go back to eating more raw food and a predominantly vegetarian/vegan lifestyle.  I know I’m not going to be ‘perfect’ but that doesn’t matter.  What I am going to be is real.  And I want to share that with you.

So what happened to me this morning?  I woke at 4.30am (ffs) and then thought hmmm… I’ve not meditated in a while.  So I sat up in bed and put my dressing gown on, as it is fewking freezing, and focussed on my breath for a bit… noticed that I started to follow my head chatter and just kept bringing it back to my breathing until eventually I found some peace.  Gawd, I’m so out of practise but that doesn’t matter *smile*.

So calmed and centred, I thought ‘sod it’ and got my butt out of bed and changed into some running gear and off I went at 5.40am for a run in the first time in errrmmm.. well, I can’t remember.  I really must buy some proper running clothes tho cos it is freeeeeeeeeezing out there.. oh and a beanie hat!  But hey, guess what, I managed 20 mins!!! Ok, I did manage to tread in dog crap in the dark and I did hack up my lungs like a goodun once I got back inside in the warm but I DID IT!!!  WOoooooOOOOooo HOOooooOOOOo!!!

So things I want to do today? Hmmm…

* Well I’ve been avoiding opening my post for at least three weeks.  My finances are in a crap state and well, me not wanting to look at them is not helping them get any better, so I need to at least open my post.
* Same for looking through my email
* Go for a walk
* One step to move my business forward – I want to start earning money from doing this – following my passion.  Hmmm.. make a plan?
* Start my 2010 vision board
* Go food shopping – plan meals and buy lots of fresh fruit and vegetables please!  The kids don’t know it yet, but they will be getting vegetarian meals from now on.

Have you made any decisions for 2010?  Let me know