Just me stuffed into my coat *tries to laugh*
Ok that did made me laugh *grin*… Yep the weather has been that crap in the UK that I had to put my coat on a few days ago and looked like a giant walking sausage roll. For those of you who don’t know what the heck I’m talking about – a sausage roll is sausage meat wrapped in pastry that then puffs up on cooking.
And if you’ve been saying, Sarah! Where the heck are you and have you just done another really positive ’gonna do it THIS time’ video then disappeared to eat cake?
Umm well, yes. A LOT of cake actually (well it was my birthday). I almost can’t be bothered to write what’s happened as I’m so sick of myself it’s not funny but here’s a quick precis (of excuses).
- In August I did a video – pushing through the pain of figuring out new software, finally – and got it up online. Went on to drink LOADS of juices and within a day was feeling so much better and felt my energy flowing again.
- Just a few days later was sat with my beautiful friend, Bird, discussing a letter she’d received with results from her cervical smear asking her to go to hospital for further investigation. It was scary not understanding what it all meant but she knew she felt drawn to juicing ‘green stuff’. I was thrilled that she wanted to help herself and offered her the use of my juicer as she couldn’t afford to get one.
- I felt sure I could still do my own journey without it – all I had to do was chew my vegetables instead of juicing – easy eh? Well with my pathetic willpower and penchant for eating my emotions I decided to scoff cake and biscuits instead.
- Oh and ignore I was doing it by not making myself accountable on here.
- So once I got on a roll of saying, ‘I’ll start again tomorrow’, ‘Eating salad is so boring, I have to find some recipes for dressing them’, ‘Making raw dressings are a complete pain in the butt to do’, ‘I’m not organised enough’, ‘I’m so crap’, ‘I’ve failed again’, ‘People are going to not read my blog anyway as I’ve not done what I said I was going to do, what’s the point in continuing with it’ BLAH BLAH BLAH
Sheesh *lol* You know what I hate the most? Is I KNOW with the right mindset and PREPARATION I can do this. I have done it before and I know how great I’ll feel. THAT voice inside me is already groaning at the word ‘preparation’ hahhaaha so it’s good I’m aware of it because then I can change it. I am changing it.
Knowing and doing are two different things for sure. So, I am going to do something every day that I decide on the evening before, which I will write down. I’m also going to stop the black and white, either/or thinking and spend more time being grateful. I think I’ll share it with you the day AFTER. I just feel the need to keep my energy close at first – yeah I’m a bit ‘woo woo’ as my sister would say but I’m not going to hide any part of me now, just to warn you.
Hmmm a part of me didn’t want to write any of that, the little voice saying ‘what’s the point, nothing’s changed, it not gonna either… big YAWN.. give up’
So anyway, I’m going to ignore that voice or maybe listen and say ‘thanks for sharing but I’m gonna eat this instead of that anyway’.
I’m 40. My divorce is nearly final. I’ve accidentally found myself in a fab new relationship. And I am helping others share their passion.
Time I focussed on me too.
MWAH and HUGS!!! Stop beating yourself up! x
awww thanks Jo
x
You know, some Cake can be good for you x
Good for you for facing up to where you’re going wrong and settling on a plan. I will keep checking in on you. You don’t have to blog every day but, if it helps you to be strong to see it in black and white what you’ve said you’re going to do, then write it down and use it. You may not always achieve it 100% but if, at least, you’ve tried and succeeded a few steps along the path, that’s real progress.
Hope your friend is ok but you might want to check she is actually using the juicer because, if she isnt, you should ask to have it back since it helps you.
Back when I was 40, I was just starting to get this huge boost of energy from the testosterone set free by my unbalanced oestrogen levels. Use it in every aspect of your life, especially your new relationship.
With the divorce, there is bound to be a certain amount of grief and you should embrace that and work through it because then you will be able to focus on the new man properly.
I still have to face that final hurdle in a year’s time and I don’t take the prospect lightly. Drawing a line under so many years of your life is not going to be easy but by acknowledging that and putting it into its proper place, you can then move forward having learned from the experience x
Thank you for taking the time to write this
And there is so much wisdom in your words that I just sit and nod. Good news is that my juicer is back in my grubby mits and so I have no excuses.. I even have some fruit and veg in my fridge, so I’ll get my butt in the kitchen and go make a juice and try and ignore how cold it is *lol*
My divorce has been so drawn out.. I really didn’t think it would take so much energy and time but I’m very nearly there. I hope yours goes smoothly too. As you know I am a huge fan of your work (and anyone reading this should go check it out – http://www.andeatingit2.com) and it’s been really helpful read your journey. Thank you for being you and sharing
I have to take some blame for buying a truck full of cake for your b-day
*gets red, i admit.
But as they say you can only talk of failing when you have given up
You are such a amazing gorgious woman and i think it’s a thing to admire when you share yourself, especcially when you are on a low. Takes some courage. TY for sharing
I agree with Joanna here to.
Especcialy the new relation ship part *winks and smiles
Your Yafi and fan
x