Ahhh me and my weight loss quest or is it a conundrum? It’s been ages since I’ve blogged.. let alone done a video. In fact, embarrassingly I think my last video was me starting yet another weight loss challenge back in February *lol*
And here I am again.. starting again.. video to follow.
I’ve had someone comment before how disappointed they were that I didn’t just stick with it and DO IT. That I was a failure.
Now I do have an ego and to be honest, truth always hurts. It didn’t hurt what she thought or that she thought I was a failure but it did hurt that the truth was I HAVEN’T JUST DONE IT.
I know I’m not alone with this – the amount of men and women who yo-yo with their weight is frightening and I never used to admit I WAS a yoyo dieter but looking back over my blog.. well I am. Sort of.
Here lies the rub. I don’t follow a specific diet – I don’t want to think of myself as someone who ‘goes on a diet’. I don’t want to be a slave to that, to constantly be thinking about what I can’t have as that is what dieting means for me. I’d rather concentrate on what I CAN have, cos goddamit, it’s plentiful, looks beautiful and tastes delicious.
So what do I want?
I want to change my relationship with food. I want to DESIRE the food choices that will automatically bring me optimum health.. make me glow and look more youthful.
I KNOW what food choices they are – lol – hell, I’ve even accomplished this state for a considerable period, a couple of times.
So what went wrong? Why am I back here (admittedly not as fat as I have been in the past, thank gawd – I’ve been stones heavier than this…)
I’m two stone overweight from my ideal weight. I was 8st 10lb for years until I got settled into a relationship that led to my marriage, then a mix of poor food choices, regular drinking, having two babies, being miserable, eating for all kinds of reasons – happiness, sadness, sharing, consoling.
Me and food went awry somewhere along the way, which is why when I start to feel too much (of anything), I tend to reach for foods that will numb me.
So it’s habit that’s gotten me back here.
Maybe a bit of fear too.
My life is changing radically this year. And for a lot of people close to me too. Underneath it all I sense great excitement but I also know I have to dare to be the best I can be and do it NOW.
I have no idea what eating a higher raw vegan diet will do for me but I just know that as I do it , everything will change – for the better.
So I say… BRING IT ON! I’m ready :D
PS. I’m also in love.. did I mention that? *grin*
It’s funny how being in love suddenly drags us away from our affair with food isnt it?
Don’t look at yourself as a failure because you didn’t manage it last time or the time before, just focus on this time. And don’t deprive yourself. As an anorexic, I know that just leads to a bad attitude to food. So find alternative goodies that taste fab but don’t harm you in the same way x
OMG so exciting that you’re commenting on my blog! I’ve been telling everyone to go read yours, in fact I’ve been so impressed with it (http://www.andeatingit2.com) that I’ve gone to the beginning of your archive so I can read the whole story – never done that before!
Thank you for your kind words and support and yes, I’m not going to view myself as a failure – not unless I give up – which I’m not going to. I’ve decided that’s not an option.
And I’m not going to deprive myself, that is something that you can’t do (luckily) with raw vegan as there is so much choice (and not worry about counting calories or weighing and measuring) but it does take (initially) more thought and planning than I’m used to – especially to make sure I have healthier alternatives to naughty snacks I’d normally scoff – such as chocolate and icecream… Oh and bread and crackers.. and and and *lol* But yes, I do need to make sure I eat enough and often and concentrate on what I can have, not what I can’t. Gonna kick my bad food attitudes in the luscious butt!
Awww, thank you! x It’s a bit disjointed but you get the general idea and, from other people I’ve spoken to, it just articulates a very familiar story for a lot of women
One big tip on the food front – cut out the yeast! I know I was skinny to start with but the difference in Ruf is dramatic. He’s lost his ‘jowls’ and the puffiness!